I am not looking for advice

I understand that people like to be helpful. I think it is within our nature. I know that there have been times in my marriage and friendships when I have started giving unsolicited advise when the most helpful thing I could have done is just sit and listen.
I'm not sure why I think I would be called upon to give advice in the first place. I understand that I do not possess all of the answers for you or for me. In fact, I may possess painfully few answers. I have found that most of life is reactionary no matter how much we try to prepare for the what ifs, large and small.

I write this today because unsolicited advice has brought my creative output here at the blog and over at the podcast to a halt. I stopped writing here and my podcast has focused on what I would call "detached" topics for the better part of the last month.

What an odd thing to do, I know, to come here and publicly state that I don't need advice when I am publicly sharing snippets of my personal life, some lighthearted and some quite raw and uncomfortably honest. Why am I sharing this stuff, then? Or, a better question is why was I before I stopped?

For me, it is the just the process of sharing or working through certain things here or on the podcast that provide me the relief I seek and fill the needs I have of a creative outlet.

Do I know it is rare and probably considered weird that I picked up the recorder and spoke at length just hours after my mother passed two years ago this week and then shared that file on the internet? I know it's rare and I'll leave it up to you to decide if it was weird or not. I don't think it's weird or I wouldn't do it.

Pressing upload at the podcast or publish here at the blog is my payoff.

I don't record or write because I am seeking advice or opinions or even observations about my life.

Some comments I have received, publicly or privately, over the last few months have not just made me feel awkward about pressing upload or publish but they caused me to not even open the laptop and start typing out an entry and to not pick up the recorder at all.

It's painful to give up what you enjoy in order to not feel scrutinized or analyzed.

So, with this post, I am coming back and I will share in the way that I enjoy as a person and the way I need as a creator.

If something I write or say helps someone get through a bad, weird or difficult patch in life just by knowing someone else is out there going through that same bad, weird or difficult patch in life, that is wonderful. You can choose to comment with something positive or thankful or not comment at all. The act of sharing it was already the payoff for me.

If something I write or say makes someone laugh and forget about the real struggles of life even for a few seconds, even better. You can choose to comment with something positive or thankful or not comment at all. The act of sharing it was already the payoff for me.

I can't help what you might consider of me and I understand that I put myself out there for that consideration by sharing here and on the podcast.

What I don't need is fixing because I don't consider myself broken.

Comments

  1. Hi Jason. I just thought I'd let you know how much I appreciate your creative output.

    I have seen many parallels in our lives as I consume your content. I am happily married (18 years now) with 2 teenage daughters. I grew up using a TI-99/4A (still have it - I actually finally got the expansion box and floppy drives for it that I always dreamed about when perusing the Triton catalogs - do you remember those?) and a Zune 30 (I still have it but now use a Zune HD) as well as my Asus Transformer tablet being my trusty PC. I also just recently lost my mother after a somewhat sudden and then mildly prolonged illness (she was diagnosed with brain cancer last April and passed in late August at the age of 73 - she told us she had been "smoking since the age of 10, with father's approval").

    You are correct in that your frank descriptions of the events in your life and how you cope with them has been very comforting and helpful to myself (and I can't be the only one). And I know that is not why you do it, but I thank you for it and will continue to look forward to and consume whatever you put out for as long as you continue.

    I just felt like sharing.

    Take care,
    Steve in Saskatchewan

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    Replies
    1. I had a friend that had the TI expansion box! I only had the cassette recorder/player to save programs I had written in TI Extended Basic. In fact, when my TI died, I gave him my Extended Basic cartridge. That was so long ago! I had just gotten my first dual 5 1/4 floppy PC clone - no hard drive, of course! That was probably 30 years ago this month. I have pictures somewhere of that machine which is also long gone.

      I really do appreciate your comments. Sometimes I get all turned around in why I am doing all of this when most of what I hear back from people has sort of a negative slant if I hear anything at all. Luckily, I have been on a big of an upward swing lately in the creativity department. I think it comes and goes for everyone and right now it's nice to feel generally motivated. I guess it could also be the warmer weather that is helping.

      Thank you again. It is always good to hear from you!

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