Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Predictions for 2010

In the year 2010....


Rihanna will become the new Whitney Houston and I don't mean "The Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston". I mean "The Crack is Whack Whitney Houston". Remember - Whitney held it together until about age 33. Rihanna is looking like she might self-destruct by 22. Whitney had a lot more royalty money to smoke so she better watch out. Maybe she is trying to hit bottom and then clean it up before Oprah goes off the air in September?


In the year 2010....


"The Jay Leno Show" will finally be put to sleep. He's been putting the audience to sleep every night at 10 Eastern since September, so it's only fitting. The terrible B-list skits and the terrible "Top Ten at 10" interviews. Yeech - pull the plug!







In the year 2010....


Tiger Woods will go ahead and run for political office. Since he had already gotten the sex scandal out of the way prior to getting in office, he ends up being the greatest politician in the history of the world. He fixes the economy and oversees permanent peace in the Middle East. In his spare time, he cures H1N1.









In the year 2010....


Charlie Sheen will keep being Charlie Sheen and the nation will continue to reward him by making him the #1 sitcom star on television. (The man is teflon.)





In the year 2010....


I'll keep writing things on this blog until an angry Somali Charlie Sheen fan comes to my house and forces me to lock myself in my safe room.






Of course, my inspiration for today's blog entry is Conan, Andy, and La Bamba - as seen in the following clip from 1994 that appears to be a kinescope! You'd think technology would have improved by now! The Honeymooners kinescopes look better than this!! At least it is still funny. Enjoy...


1 comment:

  1. Dude. The safe room joke? Well played, sir. Well played.

    ReplyDelete